Comparison & Mommy guilt

We're all guilty of comparison. Whether it be to houses we live in, jobs we have, bank accounts, or cars we drive. It's human fault to compare ourselves to others. For me, my biggest fault in this area is comparing myself as a working mom, to moms who are able to stay home with their babies. I try not to give in to often to the "working mommy guilt" I get, but sometimes it becomes to much and a cloud of sadness covers me. 

I start to think that stay at home moms are better moms for many reasons: They get to stay home and raise their babies, when their babies are sick they get to snuggle them all day, they get to go to playdates, they get to take walks to the park and play in the midday sun, they get the 'best time of day' with their babies. 

Then I have to remind myself of TRUTH.

Am I a bad mother because society tells me "well why do you want someone else raising your child"? NO. God gave him to my husband and I to raise. We are the ones who will instill Godly values in him and raise him in a Christ centered home. We are the ones who set the example and rules. Even if someone else has a hand in reinforcing what we teach him, I still raise my child.

Am I a bad mother because I am not with him during the day? No, God gave my this beautiful child and he loves me and knows who his mommy is. I'm being a good mother by working and contributing to providing for him.

Am I a bad mother because when he is sick and I don't have time to take off work, I have to leave him with someone else? No, when he's been sick and I haven't been able to take time off, he always with a family member. I know they love him and are giving him the snuggles and care he needs. Would I rather it be me? Of course! But I'm not a bad mother because of this.

Am I a bad mother because I can't take him on playdates? No, because I can! They just have to be scheduled a little more differently. 

Am I a bad mother because we don't get to go on walks and play in the midday sun? No, we just go on the weekends!

Am I a bad mother because his care provider usually gets the "best time of day" with my son(which tends to be midday)? No, I love that he is so happy where he is and loves to play with his playmate, they giggle, and laugh, and have such a wonderful time. Do I wish I was there, yes, but I'm not a bad mother because I'm not.

I know I am a good mother because I know that the Lord entrusted Samuel LaRon Gordon II "Deuce" to only my husband and I. God's precious gift to nurture and love for all our days. I know I am a good mommy because I would lay down my life for my child. I refuse to give into society and keep comparing myself to the SAHMs I know and make myself feel bad. 

It's easy to trust the Lord in easy times, but I'm learning to trust him in this struggle. This heart longing that I have to be at home with my baby boy. This desire I have burning within me. I trust Him with the heartbreak that happens everyday when I leave my child, I trust Him with my tears. I know that the Lord cares about the desires of my heart, and I am promised them. Until they come to pass, I will continue to remind myself that no matter what society says, I am a good mommy! I will trust him in this hard time. 

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. (AMP)

The light of my life: Deuce

Photography by Rhonda Piper Photography