He's still my baby

He's still my baby even though he's 2.
There are times I need to remind myself of this. Times in the middle of the night where sleep seems so much sweeter than being awakened by a screaming 2 yr old. I was reminded of this last night. My boy normally sleeps a solid 10-12 hours with no waking. Once in a while he wake/stir and sing himself back to sleep, sometimes he'll cry a sleepy cry and other (rare) times he will scream out in need of mama or dada. Last night was one of these nights. I let him cry for around 20 minutes and he never re-settled so I went in to rock him. He snuggled right into my chest and I breathed in his baby smell (the smell that is fading day by day into little boy smell) and we rocked...for about 45 minutes. I was tired, but thinking how precious is this time I have with him, where he wants and needs me. For soon he won't be the only baby anymore. Once he was asleep I laid him back down...5 minutes later he was up screaming again, blood curdling screams. This time daddy went in to comfort him for a bit. I dozed back off. Daddy laid Deuce down and you guessed it, 5 minutes later he was up screaming again. I could NOT sleep through it and I could not let him continue to scream "that scream". In a honest mommy moment I was angry he wasn't settling back to sleep and stormed out of our room and got to his door. Opened it gently and saw him writhing on his bed screaming. My heart melted. As soon as he saw me he held out his arms for me. It was clear to me then, that this night, unlike so many others at this point, he needed me. We went and laid down together in the spare room we have and he immediately quieted. He didn't ask for a drink or something to eat, he just laid there content to be close and to be near. He snuggled as close as he could get to me. My face was full of his curly hair, again breathing in that sweet, sweet scent. As much as I wanted sleep last night, he needed me more. It took him a while to fall asleep but he was quiet the whole time, never again uttering the scream we'd heard on and off for 2 hours before. Precious moments were shared in the hours we laid together in the moonlight until he finally drifted back to sleep around 5am. At one point he was giggling and I said "shhhh baby it's night night time" and he responded "shhh, night night" then lifted his sweet face to mine and kissed me. Today I have been weary and tired, but my hours with just me and my boy were worth my sleep. My attitude immediately adjusted as soon as I saw relief in his eyes when he saw me and knew he was staying with me all night long (rare occurrence) I'll never know if it was a bad dream keeping my boy from sleep or something that scared him, all I know is that for last night he needed to be close to me and I'll cherish those wee hours with him forever. I know these days will not last. One day he won't need me so much. As a parent I can forget at times, especially when I need sleep, that he's only 2, he's still my baby, and sometimes all he needs is me beside him so he can be comforted and feel secure.

Isn't this how we should be with Jesus? Sometimes just needing and desiring his company, for no reason in particular? I find myself a lot of times just going to him with needs and wants...but maybe, just maybe, he needs me to be his child and just to need to spend time and be close with Him, for no reason other than to just BE. That I will strive to do more of..for as much as it's worth it to me when my boy needs me, how much more is it precious to Jesus when he knows that we just need him.